Updated: Mar 24
Now that it is February I feel like it's a good time to understand why most people haven't made progress on their New Year's goals. Actually, it doesn't matter when you're reading this, let's talk about making progress and the 3 things that are probably getting in your way, and ways to resolve them. Three common roadblocks to success are negative self talk, limiting beliefs, and having goals with no checkpoint.
Negative self talk is a massive problem these days. I often here people criticize themselves out loud, and if that's what's leaking out I'm sure the internal dialogue is much worse. How we talk to ourselves should be encouraging and uplifting. Yes, we will have moments of self doubt, but that's where our internal voice should come in and be supportive. Here are a couple things you can do to help yourself. Never ask yourself a WHY question. There are parts of your brain (RAS) that will begin a search for the answer, as if you typed "Why am I so stupid into Google and hit search. You will then feel the emotion that comes with that. Instead, if you make a mistake or fail, ask yourself HOW questions. How can I do that better next time? How can I not allow that to happen again? After that, just wait....Your brain is doing the search you asked it to do. Try starting your day out with a HOW question, see what happens. How can I have a great day today or get even stronger today or run even further today...take your pick or make one that fits you. Oh, and if that critical voice in your head isn't your voice, but maybe a parent or negative person you once knew, see a hypnotherapist, they can help with that.
Let's look at limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs reside in your unconscious or subconscious mind. That's the reason why we can start to make progress, consciously, and putter out after we just can't keep forcing ourselves to do this. It's an old pattern that developed when you started the unhealthy behavior. Think of a smoker. A smoker never needs to remind themselves to smoke. Most smokers smoke at certain points of the day or during an activity because the unconscious association with that activity is to smoke, this is an anchor or trigger. That's why you hear people say, I do pretty well when I quit, but after I eat or when I drink, I need a cigarette. Spoiler alert, in a battle between conscious and unconscious willpower, your conscious mind doesn't stand a chance.
When you want to make progress, visualize yourself as having already made that progress and really get into the experience. Ask your unconscious mind to find a replacement for a limiting belief. When you have your mind fully on your side, you will be successful. If you are having trouble doing this, well, go see a hypnotherapist because they're good at helping you make those changes on that level.
Last, but certainly not least, let's talk about your goals. On New Year's day you may have said this, "In 2020 I'm going to lose weight."
That's a great goal to have, but we should unpack that to make is a real goal that your unconscious can support. How much? What would you like to weigh? You want to know when you arrive at a goal. If the goal was to lose weight, you may be able to stop after 1 day, as long as the scale is showing you a pound lighter. I say that jokingly, but that is the reality when setting goals, be specific. I once saw Tony Robbins hand a guy a quarter after he told Tony he wanted more money. Tony said, "There it's done."
Like limiting beliefs, we want to set the goals and see it as if it already happened. These are strong ways to start and develop new habits.
Your mind is a powerful ally in making progress toward becoming the person you want to be and having the life you've always wanted. Without it, you will be the one tripping yourself up. This is all very simple, but when it comes to self talk, limiting beliefs, and achieving your goals, people often need help. Hypnosis can be one of the most power tools for change. There is no shame is getting the help you need, especially if it leads you to where you want to be.